


To live once more, or die once more (but in time your time will be no more)

by underbellamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, The punisher au no one asked for, The punisher!Bellamy, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, also we have some bi!raven bc yes, and bellamy is the scary/intimidating new neighbor, artist!Clarke, that plans murder all day lmao, the adventure squad lives in a shitty apartment building and its rlly cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6355096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underbellamy/pseuds/underbellamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you asked Bellamy Blake where he would be 4 years ago today, his answer wouldn't be covered in blood, ash and gunpowder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To live once more, or die once more (but in time your time will be no more)

If you asked Bellamy Blake where he would be 4 years ago today, his answer wouldn't be covered in blood, ash and gunpowder.

The Bellamy he used to be 4 years ago would tell you he'd most likely still be an undercover FBI agent, working on taking down gangs and cartels (just like the Wallace cartel he was at the time under) and hating his job as usual.

He'd tell you he still probably wouldn't have time for girlfriends no matter how many nice girls he'd met or slept with.

He'd tell you he'd still be going to Monday and Friday night dinners at his moms house with his sister Octavia and his moms boyfriend Kane.

His mom would pester him about the dangers of his job, Bellamy would give her the same assurance that he is trained professionally for this, he would remind her that he has had 2 tours in Afghanistan (working with special ops C.T.U which is classified) and that it would take a lot more then a bullet from some piece of shit drug ringers to kill him. That wouldn't of been much comfort to her either. (Never has) she would tell him she loves him and she doesn't want to lose her son, he'd promise her she won't. (It was always an empty promise, because everyday his life was at risk.) And she'd hug him a little tighter each time he leaves to go home. Bellamy would only hug just as tight back.

Octavia would nag him about girlfriends, about settling down to build a family ("that 'I don't have time for girlfriends' excuse is reaching it's expiring date, Bell. And so are you, you're not getting any younger and I want a niece or nephew to spoil already!") and Bellamy would roll his eyes fondly, and wave her off with a tease that usually deflects off the 'starting a family' conversation, because right now the family he had was good enough for him.

He'd tell you he'd still be working with his partner Lincoln and he'd still loath the idea of him dating his sister, but he'd be more accepting of by then, (He would be doubtful, Bellamy is a stubborn man.) if they were still together that is. He'd tell you his book shelf would have new additions, most about Greek and Roman mythology. That he'd still enjoy having a beer while watching the history channel on (the rare) days he's not filling up reports, or dealing with gang violence.

He'd tell you he would have attended Octavias college graduation for her masters degree, and his mom would probably be engaged or married by now to Kane the man she's been dating for as long as he can remember, the man Bellamy looked to as his own father. He'd still get the same coffee every morning at the Dropship Diner along with 2 pancakes and scrambled eggs until he had to return to the precinct or go under one of his alias's "Boris Bradford" (awful name, he knows he'd still hate it) to 'work' for the Wallaces, in hopes of finally finding something big to take them down with and be done with those fucking rich sleaze bags. Or perhaps he would have a new alias, with a worse name and dealing with different drug lords.

But can't tell you any of that now, because his life is not what it was and never what he thought it would be.

He wouldn't tell you 4 years from then his family would be dead, brutally murdered by the Wallace cartel because his cover got blown in a drug bust gone bad, ending in the death of Dante Wallace.

He wouldn't tell you it was during Christmas dinner that hundreds of bullets shot through Bellamy's childhood home, destroying the beautiful memories with it. He wouldn't tell you he was shot 8 times in the ruthless attack, the 8th bullet shot into his already bleeding heart by Cages right hand man, Emerson. ("Mr. Cage Wallace sends his regards." _Bang._ ) Bellamy finally losing the fight he had in him at the sight of his family sprawled on the kitchen floor in heaps of bloody limbs. He wouldn't tell you he had 45% of his body covered in burns from his mothers home being engulfed in flames with him and the people he loved inside. (He knows if it weren't for Lincoln dragging him out after returning with the pack of ice Aurora kindly asked him to go out and grab, he would be dead.) He wouldn't tell you he needed an immediate heart transplant, (it was a miracle he was revived and lived long enough to go into surgery for it) that he was in a medically induced coma for almost a year, that his death was faked by the FBI to protect him (for his safety and as a witness), that there was no hard evidence that connected Cage Wallace to the attack on the Blakes home leading to the investigation being boxed and considered 'a cold case', that there was a grave with his name on it along with three others beside him. (Octavia Blake, Aurora Blake, and Marcus Kane)

So If you asked Bellamy Blake now, where he thinks he'd be even a day from now, he'd tell you it didn't matter.

Bellamy Blake was already dead.

When he first visited his own grave, there was a black Rose among the many colorful flowers planted. A black rose he knew was The Wallaces signature. Cages signature. The sorrow of losing his family turned into rage, blinding blood boiling rage. The thirst for vengeance and justice grew, but this time, he wouldn't use the law to put an end to Cage Wallace, and everyone involved.

His fingers ran over the "May we meet again" that was carved on his grave stone. It was meant as a sign of faith, of God, but God he thinks is going to sit this one out.

for Bellamy, "May we meet again" was a promise of death.

And Cage Wallace was the first on his list.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be an angst fest, Bellamy will basically be s3!Bellamy. If anyone has seen the movie "The punisher", im basically making my own version with Bellarke (god i love that movie pls go watch it its on netflix) but I blame Daredevil s2 for inspiring me to finally write this. It was my breaking point. (the fic is not like Daredevil though, but i'll one day make a au version for it probably) 
> 
> Title is from the song in "The Punisher" by that Harry Heck guy.


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